I found myself crying on the steps today because I felt like I wasn’t being a good mom. They say, whoever they is, that the key to life is finding balance in what you do. I say that is hardly possible. How am I supposed to find time to be a mom, wife, keep my full time job, have a social life, and keep up with my kids social life and extracurricular? All of that along with finding time for myself and creative endeavors. I am bound to let something fall by the wayside or forget about it completely. This post isn’t about my complaints towards finding balance but more of an assurance that it’s okay to not find balance. This is about balance outside of what you have to do to pay the bills. Life isn’t going to be so simple where you have time to do everything and be there for everyone. Make time for what’s important in your life in this season or time.
Don’t find your balance through someone else
It’s so easy to see someone on social media and think “wow they do it all and have it all together”. Stop right there. Remember people choose what they post of their lives, and they usually choose the best parts. Including me, I rarely post a pic of my dirty kitchen or the days when I’m in my closet hiding from my family. My balance is not your balance. Think of finding your balance like following your schedule, what’s important comes first. Then the rest will follow. Please don’t let an influencer tell you what you need to be prioritizing in your life. That also includes me, although I don’t think of myself as an influencer.
The truth in finding balance
I was listening to Oprah’s Super Soul podcast with Quinta Brunson and they agreed that finding balance is between caring and not caring what people think about you. That, I believe, is where a lot of our insecurities lie. We have the constant feeling that people are judging us or not accepting of what we’re doing or not doing. Once you figure out who’s opinions and advice matters the most in your life is when you can find balance for the rest. Only you really know your passions, wants and needs at every moment of your life. Lead with those feelings and the ones that truly support you will show themselves in their actions and feelings they give you. For most people that is their family and close friends, but in some moments it may be your mentor or boss or therapist. Try not to let the fear of judgement hinder you from your balance and peace.
When its time to shift balance
I got this feeling of non-fulfillment and I knew it had to be my routine. Lately I have been hyper focused on my family and my community. That was great for that moment because before then it was about career goals and social life. I needed that family and community time to ground me. I realized the not wholeness was coming from not being creative. I’ve let this blog “fall off” and I’ve realized that it’s been too long. My balance has shifted into making sure that this blog is a priority. My soul needs that outpouring right now. When you have that moment of something is missing that is when it is time to shift your balance.
My hope is that this post will inspire you to feel good about what you’re doing right now or at least have the desire to feel good. Sometimes finding balance will be prioritizing rest and you are taking more naps and doing less chores. That is perfect for you. Doing a little self care can help you see what is needed in your life.
